When the nirvana ends, and the reality comes crashing in that other options are available out there — When all cracks and flaws had been shown to each other — some couples took the basic rule for granted and fall apart as the foundation fractured.
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#1 CAST ASIDE FRIENDSHIP
There are things that our inner thought warns us not to share with your partner simply because you know well enough to be sure that topic should not interest them at all.
Little did we forget, that is exactly what sparks a friendship — when you put effort discover the non-interesting things that your partner values.Those moments of "this is personally annoying but i'd willing to do it for that person" count as see through concealed efforts. When someone adds your favorite song to their playlist knowing it contains hidden messages that is too awkward to put in a text conversation.
#2 Hurting, on purpose.
It is highly common for couples to argue as they said, contrast attract each other's mind. Find the safe word for both of you to say to represent the whit flag. The most common would be sorry but when it's being said too much, you might want to consider another safe word that means a whole lot more than you just regret it. Let them know how reluctant it made you feel knowing that action or words can hurt your partner this much. A third party can exist simply by comparing, without actually having to be caught interacting with you. Lesson of the day — never belittle your partner by comparing — as it would downgrade their worth in the relationship. Listen to the hurtful silence.
#3 Too cool for sorry
It is the ultimate choice of choosing your ego or your partner. Bear in mind, an ego does not define who you are hence choosing your partner by saying sorry in a fight won't mean you lost yourself my dear.
#4 It doesn't hurt to show that you care as much as you often admit
Listen — Without waiting for your turn to talk is the foundation of a peaceful relationship. Imagine waking up, going through your day with some shitty inconveniences along the way only to be assured that someone will listen to your rambling at the end of the day. How calming would that be?
#5 candy coat your words
Words uttered by the person that you love the most hold power to either make you whole or break you into pieces. Choose wisely, and bear in mind to candy coat your words sometimes rather than trying not to hurt. Make the flirting alive, like when you were trying to win her back then.
#6 Find the middle ground
There are cute arguments and abusive mental fights — know the difference. Find the middle ground when your thoughts are clashing instead of pushing each other to the exit that you chose.
#7 Leave the argument hanging
An unfinished fight will be the end of a relationship in a long run. People tend to hold grudges against people that they love too deep that on the day that it should only be a crack over unsourceful doubts — a volcano explodes and end it instead.
#8 Silence your demons
"Am I enough?"
"The girl that smiles to him at the cafe has skinnier hips than mine"
So here's the deal. All it takes is "ask" when you feel like the voices inside your head won't stop giving possibilities of the "what if's" and over-analyzed gestures. It's difficult to shut your own inside voices so the only way is to voice it out for that person to listen and give you the clarification that you obviously need.
#9 Forbid lying
Avoid yourself from telling a lie. Well evidently, our daily life consists of white lies so here's the trick — be better at fabricating the truth if there is a valid reason for you to hide it from your partner's knowledge. It is ethical to know what and when to tell something to someone so avoid lying by time-capsule the truth.
#10 Look deeper beneath the layers
When a word is about to be uttered from your mouth, take a second to say it to yourself and imagine if the person who is meant to hear those word — is you. Would that hurt? If it does — better shut up then.
