a letter for a stranger at the library

 

To the boy at the table near the back of the library ― 

I almost asked you what was wrong the first time i saw you frowned so hard that your eyebrows creased, and a minute after; your eyes goes wide out of shock and you blinked a few times before letting out a long sigh. The glistering in your eyes didn't go unnoticed as you tried to blink back the tears ― It was then when i saw you folded a page on the book that you were reading, and i realized all those reactions that you unconsciously made were because of it. To say that i was "Interested" was an understatement because i could literally felt how my eyes, mind and attention slowly being drowned by your soundless attraction ― I had never read anything that made me so engross to the point of i shut off the real world.

Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself searching for the book that you read, and guess what? ―  I let out a deep sigh too, i even shed tears on the page that you folded. ― That was how it started. Every time i go to the library, you almost always there, usually with a completely new book. Sometimes you grinned so hard that your dimples pop out, sometimes you clenched you jaw out of anger and there are times when you were almost thrown out by the librarian on duty because you would semi–yelled at the character of the book. Spending so much time in the library you should remember that one of the library rules is to be quiet. I remember the first time i heard your voice was when you shouted "are you kidding me, why did he die?!" because the author decided to kill your favorite character and when you finally finished the book ―  I would grab it and spend three days straight reading the book. if only you noticed how my name would always come next to you on the book borrowing list.

 

That was it, really ― until i realized how gorgeous you are. you're not attractive in normal kind of way, but when you smile, it lights up your face in the best kind of way.

I wish you'd notice me, sitting a few tables away from you, reading the book you were reading a few days ago. i wish you'd smile at me. I don't have the guts to talk to you. I'm afraid you won't be anything at all like I imagine.

One of these days, I will work up the courage and I will ask you about the book you're reading. And maybe you will give me that gorgeous smile of yours and tell me all about it, and then we will talk about all the books we have read and compare our favorite book. I will convince you to read the book that left the biggest impact on me. But until then, thank you for the book recommendations. I love them.

― Love, the girl a few tables away from yours

If staying feels a lot like sacrificing wouldn't letting go means you saved yourself?

Letting go. 

 

To let go — requires you to accumulate an overwhelming amount of strength. It is not easy nor painless but most of the times we are thrown in the situation where we have to let go to save what's left of ourselves. The rule of hello would be followed by goodbyes. Feelings fade and here is the bitter truth — you will never able to forget the person you love, you simply will find another human to love more.

No amount of love and sacrifices could alter fate. If the love is wrong — you have to let go. Some people chose to stay for they mistook toxic vibes with proving their loyalty. Baby, if staying feels a lot like sacrificing — wouldn't letting go means you saved yourself?

I remember when I just learned how to read subtitles and mama sheds tears from watching Titanic . out of pure curiosity I asked her “why do we have to let go of someone that we love?” She gave me a small smile and said; “This world is ugly my dear, and most of the time something as pure as love does not stand a chance against it.” 

I hate to grow up and learn my lesson in love — only to be given the same exact advise 15 years later. I gave it some thought and mama was right. Love alone will never be enough of a reason to be loyal to the wrong soul. You are bound to meet your soulmate somewhere out there and delaying leaving would only make you miss a lot of opportunities to fine the one.